Current mood:	listless
Current music:	Garbage//Cup.of.coffee

I.just.want.one
Day 3 of not have a ciggarette is now over. I have this huge craving too, I just wanted one, but the guys wouldn't let me have just one. Thats all I wanted. Oh well i guess its in my best intrest.
I'm not sure that I have much to write about. Actually I have tons of shit I can write about so this one might be a long entry.
Just for everyone who doesnt know this, Adam and I are back together, I dont want to hear anyones shit about you just need to end it with him.

Theres been alot bothering me lately. The most recent thing is what mine and katies friendship is falling to. The only time I hear from here is when she has no one else to talk to her while she smokes. And when we talk its not about anything that is converstation worthy, ya know what I mean? And when we talk its basically and 'hey how are you' conversation, and I hate those conversations. Its like I'm her last resort to talk to. And in these conversations lately she never asks if I want to come hang out with her, or If she could come over, or anything like that, all she really talks about is how she got fucked up. And I know I am not one to speak, but it gets kinda old hearing 'ya I was so fucked up'. I love her to death and I miss her so much. There are just so many things going on in my life right now that she doesnt even know about. I dont know anymore. Maybe its my fault, maybe its not, maybe its both our faults. Its just that I hate that I dont know whats going on in her life right now, and she doesnt know whats going on with mine. She called me earlier tonight, like around 6:30ish, I was over at belindas, but I'm sure that it was just a time that she wanted me to talk to her while she smoked.. Whatever.. I dont know what else to say about that......I just hurts.. maybe I should make more of an effort.

Tonight was good I guess. Tracey and I went over to the guys' house. We didnt really do anything at all, we sat around and watched Tin Cup. We didn't get to finish because Tracey had to be home at 11. And my mom just tells me I have to be home when Tracey has to be home. I was so close to smoking when I was there, cathy handed me a pack, but then everyone sorta started yelling at me to stop it. I just really wanted one, I know I didnt need it, but I wanted it. But I decided not to smoke, I rather not have everyon pissed at me the whole night because I smoked one ciggarette.

Well I dont know what I am doing this weekend. I know that I am most likly going to the tanning bed, prly doing the weekend ritual of staying the night with tracey and going out with the guys. And getting chinese food with my Button Bitch. :) (lovies).. Hopfully if my mom is in a good mood, I can go work for her on Saturday and get some money. I really want to go get my nails done so I stop biting them, when I have fake nails I never seem to bite them. I think I might actually ask my mom if her and I can go do that this weekend, we need to 'bond'. we never spend time with eachother anymore. So I guess this could be a good thing. Well I am going to go.

Love Danie