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I have a new Lj.. its going to be friends only so ya..
its Breathe_softly
LoveDanielle
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LoveDanielle
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Saturday, March 6th, 2004
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:::::::To My Booga Man:::::::
HAPPY 1 YEAR AGO FIRST KISS!!!!
::Kisses::
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Danielle
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ya so I'm at school, bored as hell. I'd rather be outside doing something, its such a nice day outside, the only bad thing is the wind. I'm pretty much done with my computer class now, all I have to do is take the final and I get the credit and I can move on to a different class. I'd be taking my final right now but my teachers not here. I'm ready for school to be over. I get to go see my baby! hehe its only be one day that I haven't been around him, thats sad. I dont really have much to write about but this is the only thing I can do to keep me occupied, theres 45 minutes left of this class then I go to science and go back home. I really like only going to school for 3 hours everyday.. If I continue to stay here for the rest of my high school years I think I am going to go in the morning. 7:45 to 10:45, then I could get a job and work in the afternoons.I don't know if my mom will let me stay here tho, she hates it. Oh well.. I have the biggest headache..
Oh ya, the one thing I'm really sad about now is I cant go to Pikes Prom, Adam got expelled... And he doesnt want me to go to prom with Chris, but we'll see what happens with that. I was looking forward to going to prom, It'd give me a chance to see all the people that I dont see anymore, oh well I guess not.. :(
I was cleaning my room last night, and I found nose rings. Over the summer before I got arrested nicole and I stole some nose rings cause we both pierced our noses' ourselves, well I was going through one of my bags and I found them.. I doubt I'll use them because they aren't the curvy ones, their just straight bars so then could fall out easily.
Well I am going to go. Write more later if some exciting happens. I love you Adam.. I miss you more..
Love Danielle
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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
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hehe. Adams brushing my hair! I have no clue why but he is, its cute.
Well I had no school today, heres my events.
::Got up at like 12:30
:: Watched passions at 1 (tracey came over sometime after 1
::Around 2ish I got in the shower
::Then went shopping, got my suit for spring break, its black, very cute
::Went to the tanning bed... I burnt the back of my legs and apparently my ass (it hurts so bad)
::Came home and woke adam up cause he slept all day
:: Made dinner for the two of us
::Watch A.I (very good movie)
::Adam just finished brushing my hair
I think now we are going to watch some tv. Well talk to everyone later.
Love Danie
hah Adams putting on my bikini top.. HAH.. I question him sometimes .. heh just kidding I love you!
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this sucks
i went into the bathroom and tears just start building up in my eyes
then i puked
and now I have a fever
All I want is for you to be here taking care of me but you cant be
loveDanie
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| Time: | 1:37 pm. |
| Mood: |  exhausted. | | Music: | ppl talking. |
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Today is just one of those days, I feel very blank. Like I dont want to do anything and I could careless if I didnt achieved anything today. I just want to go back home. Adams there asleep in my bed, I wish I was there with him. He was so cute when I left this morning, I had extra time so I laid back down in bed next to him and watched him while he was sleeping. He looked so peaceful and precious. I think belinda might know that the guys were there this morning because they left their shoes by the back door, and she dropped the dog off at the house before she left to go out with her brother. Oh well I dont think she'll tell my mom, and even if she tells my mom I'll just tell my mom that they just stopped by cause they had no where else to go. I am so tired. Well I feel tired but my mind is awake. I really shouldnt be tired tho, I went to sleep earlier than I usually do last night. God I am so bored, and I need a ciggarette oh well theres only about 45 minutes of school left. Thank god. Hopefully it goes by fast. I'm ready to leave. Well I really dont have anything to write about, and this is a really pointless entry. Well I'll write more later if I have anything of importance to write about.
Love Danie
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| Time: | 10:05 am. |
| Mood: | tired. | | Music: | P.O.D//Thinking about forever. |
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Well theres not really much to talk about. Adam and Derek got new piercings last night. Adam got his lip and Derek got his tounge. They're both sleeping right now. Adam wont even move, and I have to wake derek up in about a 1/2 hour. Oh ya I dyed my hair last night. Its a deep red color, with some streaks in it. It suits me. Well I need to go get ready for school, talk to everyone later.
Heart of Glass
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
LoveDanie
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Saturday, February 28th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:12 pm. |
| Mood: |  loved. | | Music: | Blink1.8.2//I miss you. |
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Auto response from imTwigenOUT: sleeping and dreaming of that beautiful girl of mine
I love it!!
I love you!
loveDanie
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I dont think I've written in a long time... Humm nothing big has happend that I know of. Heres my weekend so far. Well I'll start from Thursday..
Thursday
Didnt go to school cause I didnt feel good. So I really didnt do anything but sleep the whole day. Then tracey, adam, and derek came over. I dont think we really did much of anything. But after tracey went home me and the guys went back to their house and adam and I got high. It was nice, I hadn't smoked in a long time. Adam and I watched real sex, it was funny they had this thing on there about penis puppets(haha) then they took me home around like I think 1:15ish, then I came home got on the comp. for a couple mins then went to sleep.
Friday
I got up at like 10:30 went to school, then came home. Then around like 4:30 tracey came over and we just kinda sat here and talked about how bored we were going to be all night, but we ended up going to the Distill concert at Club Logos in Franklin.We went with Derek, Adam,Rob,Dollie,and Tracey.I kinda sucked cause we all had to fit into robs care. I'd never been there before, I liked it, but tracey and I decided we like the Emerson better, just because it feels more like home or something. Even tho Logos it alot cleaner and nifty looking inside. We watched the guys play then we left and came back home. On the way home rob was going hella fast it was like 115, I was shitty. So I said something to him.I think it may have pissed him off even more, but oh well you dont sit there and go 115 when there are 5 other ppl in the car and only one of those 5 can wear a seat belt. Oh well. Once we got home me adam derek and tracey went to Steak n' Shake it was fun. When we got back home we all played cranium which was funny as hell, it always is. Derek and tracey won tho by one question. hehe. After the game I think we all just kinda passed out. They ended up leaving around 3ish. Then tracey and I went to bed.
Today
I didnt really do much of anything today. It was one of those pointless days. I woke up around 2, then went back to sleep at like 2:30, and woke up at 5 cause my mom called. She wanted me to go to the store with her. So we went to the store and got stuff to make dinner tonight. So I went over to belindas and ate dinner, and we all watched Freaky Friday. They liked it, they were cracking up most of the time. I was getting tired of being over there so I came home and got on the damn computer, I've been sooo bored the whole night. But katies on her way over. We havent hung out in forever, so I'm kinda excited about that. We might smoke tonight. But who knows. Hopefully we do.
Tomorrow I'm suppose to go tanning. And I might go shopping with katey. but it all depends on what my mom says and if she gives me money. I need to go do my spring break shopping. My mom and I were talking today and shes decided that shes gonna get me a credit card, like those ones that you can put a certian amount of money on. and have me take that to florida. Well I am going to go smoke a cig. Talk to everyone later.
I love you Adam!!!!!
loveDanie
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Monday, February 23rd, 2004
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| Time: | 10:57 pm. |
| Mood: | tired. | | Music: | Incubus//Sick.Sad.World. |
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What is your name?: Danielle
Are you named after anyone?: nope not that I know of
What's your screename?: lovepain033
Would you name a child of yours after you?: nope
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:idk and dont care
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: I am perfectly fine with my normal name
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: nope
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: idk my last name is too simple
Your gender:: female
Straight/Gay/Bi:: bi
Single?:nope
If not, do you want to be?:....
Birthdate::6-8-87
Your age:: 16
Age you act:: idk.. you tell me
Age you wish you were:: 26
Your height:: 5'3
Eye color:: blue.green
Happy with it?: yep
Hair color:: dark brown
Happy with it?: not really, i want like red streaks in it
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty
Your living arrangement:: my mom, but shes never here so its like my house(all my friends know that is so true)
Your family:: just me and my mom
Have any pets?: 1 cat
Whats your job?: .....funny
Piercings?: my ears 7times and my nose
Tattoos?: nope not yet
Obsessions?: humm...
Addictions?: nicotine
Do you speak another language?: nope and dont want to
Have a favorite quote?:
Do you have a webpage?:no
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it?: have lots of those
Do you live in the moment?: yes
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: idk
Do you have any secrets?: yea... everyone has atleast one secret
Do you hate yourself?: occasionally
Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes
Do you have any bad habits?: smoking
What is the compliment you get from most people?: my eyes and my smile
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Love vs Pain
What's your biggest fear?: failing in life
Can you sing?: I've been told I can
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: not at all
Are you a loner?: I wouldnt say so
What are your #1 priorities in life?: graduate high school, go to college, thats as of right now
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: i guess but i wouldnt listen to my problems
Are you a daredevil?: can be
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yes
Are you passive or agressive?: i can be both
Do you have a journal?: yea
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: ....idk
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: dont know
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: not at all..
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: no I regret nothing
Do you think life has been good so far?: sure some shitty things have happened but they happen to everyone
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: .
What do you like the most about your body?:my eyes
And least?: my height
Do you think you are good looking?: no :-\
Are you confident?: not really
What is the fictional character you are most like?: no clue.
Are you perceived wrongly?: ? idk
Do You...
Smoke?: yep
Do drugs?: not lately
Read the newspaper?: no
Pray?: yes
Go to church?: no
Talk to strangers who IM you?: somtimes
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no
Take walks in the rain?: i have
Talk to people even though you hate them?: never
Drive?: APRIL
Like to drive fast?: when i do drive yes i like to go fast
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: yes
Hurt yourself?: yes
Been out of the country?: no
Eaten something that made other people sick?: yea
Been in love?: yes.. i'm in love at this moment
Done drugs?: yea
Gone skinny dipping?: yea.
Had a medical emergency?: yea
Had surgery?: no.
Ran away from home?: no
Played strip poker?: no
Gotten beaten up?: no
Beaten someone up?: nope
Been picked on?: everyones been picked on
Been on stage?: yes
Slept outdoors?: yes
Thought about suicide?: ........ yes :-\
Pulled an all nighter?: yes
If yes, what is your record?: didnt keep track.
Gone one day without food?: yea
Talked on the phone all night?: Yea
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: yes
Slept all day?: yea
Killed someone?: nope
Made out with a stranger?: no
Had sex with a stranger?: no
Thought you're going crazy?: yea
Kissed the same sex?: yessum
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: yessum
Been betrayed?: yea
Had a dream that came true?: ya
Broken the law?: ya
Met a famous person?: yea
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: idk
On purpose?: no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yea
Stolen anything?: yes.
Been on radio/tv?: no
Been in a mosh-pit?: yes
Had a nervous breakdown?: Yes
Bungee jumped?: nope
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yea
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: yes
Miracles?: yes
Astrology?: idk
Magic?: no
God?: yes
Satan?: no
Santa?: no
Ghosts?: of course
Luck?: Yes
Love at first sight?: Yes
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: no
Witches?: No
Easter bunny?: No
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yea
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no
Do you wish on stars?: i have
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: sometimes
Do you think God has a gender?: no
Do you believe in organized religion?: no
Where do you think we go when we die?: in the cold dirt
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yes
Who is your best friend?: katey.. and the other one is drifting :-\ I hate it
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: katey, and prly adam
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: ...
Your favourite inside joke?: Couldnt name it.. to many
Thing you're picked on most about?: idk
Who's your longest known friend?: idk
Newest?: humm..
Shyest?: tracey
Funniest?: adam and derek
Sweetest?: adam
Closest?: katey
Weirdest?: adam and derek
Smartest?: tracey
Ditziest?: me?
Friends you miss being close to the most?: katie
Last person you talked to online?: adam
Who do you talk to most online?: ppl
Who are you on the phone with most?: adam
Who do you trust most?: katey
Who listens to your problems?: katey, adam,katie
Who do you fight most with?: Adam
Who's the nicest?: katey and tracey
Who's the most outgoing?: katey
Who's the best singer?: katey
Who's on your shit-list?: lots of people.
Who's your second family?: katey, and katie
Do you always feel understood?: no
Who's the loudest friend?: adam
Do you trust others easily?: No
Who's house were you last at?: tracey
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Adams and kateys.
Do your friends know you?: Yea
Friend that lives farthest away:: hum.. idk
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: no
What do you find romantic?:roses, and massages.
Turn-on?: smiles, eyes
Turn-off?:bad breath
First kiss?: dont rememberl
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: bad
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: yes
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: not really
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv: yea
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: i guess
What is best about the opposite sex?: their eyes
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: how they lie
What's the last present someone gave you?:idk
Are you in love?: YES
Do you consider your significant other hot?: yes
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:idk
You wanted to kill?: no comment
That you laughed at?: tracey
That laughed at you?: tracey
That turned you on?: adam
You went shopping with?: tracey
That broke your heart?: kevin
To disappoint you?: adam
To ask you out?: adam
To make you cry?: adam
To brighten up your day?: adam
That you thought about?: adam
You saw a movie with?: tracey,derek, and adam
You talked to on the phone?: katey
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: adam
You saw?: tracey
You lost?: my aunt
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: not right now
Will it be with your significant other?: no
Or some random person?: no
What are you wearing right now?: hoodie and pj pants
Body part you're touching right now: nothing
What are you worried about right now?: how my interview will go tomorrow
What book are you reading?:i just finished one
What's on your mousepad?: to babies in a cup hahah
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: loved,bored,tired,weak,thoughtful
Are you bored?: very
Are you tired?: kinda
Are you talking to anyone online?: yes
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no.
Are you lonely or content?: both
Are you listening to music?: yes
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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
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Day 3 of not have a ciggarette is now over. I have this huge craving too, I just wanted one, but the guys wouldn't let me have just one. Thats all I wanted. Oh well i guess its in my best intrest.
I'm not sure that I have much to write about. Actually I have tons of shit I can write about so this one might be a long entry.
Just for everyone who doesnt know this, Adam and I are back together, I dont want to hear anyones shit about you just need to end it with him.
Theres been alot bothering me lately. The most recent thing is what mine and katies friendship is falling to. The only time I hear from here is when she has no one else to talk to her while she smokes. And when we talk its not about anything that is converstation worthy, ya know what I mean? And when we talk its basically and 'hey how are you' conversation, and I hate those conversations. Its like I'm her last resort to talk to. And in these conversations lately she never asks if I want to come hang out with her, or If she could come over, or anything like that, all she really talks about is how she got fucked up. And I know I am not one to speak, but it gets kinda old hearing 'ya I was so fucked up'. I love her to death and I miss her so much. There are just so many things going on in my life right now that she doesnt even know about. I dont know anymore. Maybe its my fault, maybe its not, maybe its both our faults. Its just that I hate that I dont know whats going on in her life right now, and she doesnt know whats going on with mine. She called me earlier tonight, like around 6:30ish, I was over at belindas, but I'm sure that it was just a time that she wanted me to talk to her while she smoked.. Whatever.. I dont know what else to say about that......I just hurts.. maybe I should make more of an effort.
Tonight was good I guess. Tracey and I went over to the guys' house. We didnt really do anything at all, we sat around and watched Tin Cup. We didn't get to finish because Tracey had to be home at 11. And my mom just tells me I have to be home when Tracey has to be home. I was so close to smoking when I was there, cathy handed me a pack, but then everyone sorta started yelling at me to stop it. I just really wanted one, I know I didnt need it, but I wanted it. But I decided not to smoke, I rather not have everyon pissed at me the whole night because I smoked one ciggarette.
Well I dont know what I am doing this weekend. I know that I am most likly going to the tanning bed, prly doing the weekend ritual of staying the night with tracey and going out with the guys. And getting chinese food with my Button Bitch. :) (lovies).. Hopfully if my mom is in a good mood, I can go work for her on Saturday and get some money. I really want to go get my nails done so I stop biting them, when I have fake nails I never seem to bite them. I think I might actually ask my mom if her and I can go do that this weekend, we need to 'bond'. we never spend time with eachother anymore. So I guess this could be a good thing. Well I am going to go.
Love Danie
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
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I have so much that I could write about... but I dont know where to start.
I'm quitting smoking, Day 1 is finally over with. And I have the biggest craving for one like no other.
I am so bored, theres nothing to do. I should be getting to sleep soon, but I'm not too tired.
I didnt go to school this morning. My power went off and reset all the clocks.
Around 3ish Tracey and I walked up to the gas station and go drinks and came back home and did nothing.
I really dont want to write anymore.
LoveDanie
Visions of you, then your gone
All that I did was for you
I break in two over you
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Monday, February 16th, 2004
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| Subject: | empty |
| Time: | 9:04 am. |
| Mood: |  stressed. | | Music: | Meshell.Ndegeocello//Beautiful. |
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So ya, Adam and I broke up. Well I broke up with him, its all been adding up, and yesterda it finally set me off. Lately hes just been distant or kinda rough with me.. and all night last night I was trying to get him to talk to me, but he wouldnt move off my couch or even say a word to me. So at one point I threw my bottle at him and then got up and walked over to him and he was about to throw it back at me, and I tried to pull him up off the couch(which didnt work, i ripped his coat) and then he grabbed me and kind picked me up and threw/dropped me.. its hurt. Then I threw my ring at him and said fuck you we're broken up. Then I spent part of the night in the bathroom crying, then I took a bath, it made me feel at little bit better. And now I'm all paranoid that he fucked around with some girl last night, but why should I care, we're broken up. Like I called dereks like 5 mins after he told me he was going to sleep, and derek was like hes passed out. Then katey came in my room and told me adam got online then put his away message on, i just told her that if he got back on just have him call me. He ended up calling me around 3.... I dont know tho..
I have lots to do today. I have a dentist app. and I'm going shopping then prly to the tanning bed. Then adam wants to come over so we can talk i guess, not too sure if I want to talk to him let alone see him.
Well I'm very grateful that katey and tracey were here last night to kinda keep me in a decent mood. Well I need to go get in the shower.
LoveDanie
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Sunday, February 15th, 2004
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Tonight sucks for the most part. The only good thing is that Katey and Tracey are here.. well adam and derek are here but adam is doing nothing but hurting me even more, making me even more depressed, it sucks.. no guy should ever make you cry, but i guess it happens sometimes.
I'm going to go smoke. bye
Love Danie
:my.hands.around.your.throat.and.i.think.i.hate.you:
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Blah!!!! I hate you all!
well except a few of you ppl.
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| Subject: | hum.. |
| Time: | 5:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  hyper. | | Music: | From.Autumn.to.Ashes//Autumns.Monologue. |
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New colors and stuff. yay i guess.
I have lots to post about but i really dont feel like writting alot right now. kinda hyper, hoping kateys coming over, but it all depends on jon.oh well
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Friday, February 13th, 2004
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Today has been pretty shitty. Many reasons, dont really feel like explaining..I'm just gonna explain the main one
My mom has been a bitch, I had this great weekend planned out for adam and I, but since he got kicked out my mom said he couldnt stay, somehow she thinks its my fault. I just disappionted.
Well I have new pictures.. I guess I'll post them
( New pics )
Love Danie
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content.
happy.
sick.
listless.
lonely.
disappointed.